Even your messy patterns make sense
We all have our own version of “the box”, whether it’s the plan you were supposed to follow, the identity you were supposed to have, or the way things should have gone.
For most of us, that box was built a long time ago, from expectations, comparisons, or even out of pure survival. But at some point, it stopped fitting. And trying to live in it started getting in the way of everything: your ability to grow, function, and actually enjoy your life.
Your brain loves patterns, even the unhelpful ones, because every route you've ever taken, even the messy ones, started as a way to feel safe. And the box if full of these patterns: thought patterns, emotional patterns, and behavior patterns.
I've discovered that you don't have to dismantle the whole thing to start feeling differently. But you do need to start understanding the routes your brain and body like to take, the helpful and the unhelpful ones. It's not about judging yourself for taking them. It's about gaining the awareness to see the patterns clearly.
The problem is, most of us approach self-awareness like we're trying to open every can of worms from our past. We think we have to analyze every detail before we can move forward. This kind of hyper-analyzing often leaves us stuck, though, in yet another pattern.
That's actually where we begin inside The Human User Manual. Learning what creates these automatic patterns, and how to recognize them when they show up, without taking yourself down in the process.
Give this a try:
➔ Take a deep breath
➔ Notice one place in your life where you keep taking the same road and ending up getting stuck in the same dead end. Maybe it's:
“I often shut down when ____ happens"
“I keep busy to avoid what's really going on"
“I constantly overcommit”
➔ Instead of judging it, try some curiosity:
What situation starts your pattern? What thoughts are coming? What emotions show up? What actions follow?
➔ Just notice. Jot some thoughts down if you'd like.
This is mindful awareness in action, which is the start of change. We’re not looking for perfection and you'll gain more information as you go. Just start where you are.
Any awareness creates options for new patterns in your life.
That means you're already changing the box, by meeting yourself where you are and paying attention.
One small, intentional step at a time.
