Part 1 of A Little More to inJOY This Holiday Season
I don't know many people right now who aren't dealing with some form of overwhelm.
Whether it's from work, family, the state of the world, or just trying to keep up with everyday life, there seems to be a lot on everyone's plates.
And...we're coming into the holidays, the time of year when you're “supposed” to slow down, enjoy your people, create beautiful memories, and experience all kinds of joy and connection.
On top of shopping, cooking, decorating, planning, coordinating schedules, attending (and avoiding) gatherings, keeping up with traditions, and making sure everyone else has a wonderful experience.
And on top of everything that needs to get done, the biggest pressure often comes from the expectations you absorb or place on yourself. (Hint: this doesn't just happen during the holidays, it happens all year long.)
Why pushing harder doesn't always help
Here's a little of what's happening inside of you during this time of overwhelm...
When you're already overwhelmed, your nervous system is already in some level of stress mode, and your brain is working hard to keep up with everything that needs your attention.
And when you pile on more demands, especially ones you feel like you have to get right, that stress goes up even more.
And as it does, some of the things you want most become harder to reach, including your ability to:
Be creative
Think clearly
Consider different possibilities
Understand and connect with others
Be present
Be patient
Enjoy life
You get stuck in this cycle of doing more to create great, memorable experiences that you then can't enjoy because the overwhelm is getting in the way.
So what if you approached it a little differently?
Let's say you get inspired one afternoon and decide to bake cookies with your kids, or make a really good meal, or spend time decorating while listening to your favorite holiday music. Whatever getting into the season looks like for you.
And instead of focusing on how everything needs to turn out, you allow yourself to enjoy the little pieces you can enjoy. Maybe it's the music, the smells, the laughter, the coziness, or just stepping out of your norm and doing something different.
Things might not turn out perfectly, but it's not the end of the world.
What's important is that you did something you wanted to do, and you allowed yourself to enjoy it.
That's a pretty big win, because those enjoyable moments give your brain and body a chance to experience something other than stress. And as your nervous system begins to calm down, you have more access to all those things we talked about earlier: creativity, patience, connection, and enjoying your life.
If we could just stop there it would be great!
But here's where you might get yourself into trouble, because you might start thinking...
"This is great! We should do this every year!"
Or, "Next time I should invite the whole family!"
Or maybe you start thinking about how you'll need to fit this into your already busy schedule next weekend.
And suddenly that one enjoyable experience becomes another thing on your list. Just like that, you're back on the hamster wheel of expectations and overwhelm.
But here's something to remember. Just because your thoughts have gone back to their familiar patterns doesn't mean you're not growing from the experience.
When you notice yourself getting sucked back in, here's something you can try:
Physically take a step back and take one or two slow breaths.
That little pause can help interrupt the familiar thought process, and for now that's enough.
Making room for what matters
You don't have to give up your traditions, stop planning special experiences, or stop caring about how the people you love experience the holidays.
But there's a difference between:
Creating opportunities for joy and feeling responsible for making joy happen
Enjoying a tradition and believing it has to happen
Making a thoughtful meal and needing everything to be perfect
Wanting the people you love to have a wonderful experience and feeling personally responsible for whether they do
Enjoying more isn't about doing more, it's about noticing what's getting in the way of the enjoyment that's already there.
