Breaking the Cycle
Think about a time you found yourself caught in the same challenge, maybe with someone you love or even with yourself. The same argument popping up on repeat, the same thoughts circling at night, the same old patterns playing out. It’s exhausting!
Even if you consider yourself to be super non-judgmental, in those moments, you’re usually stuck in judgment. It’s your brain’s way of protecting you, like a shield. Judgment often happens before you even realize it. It sounds like, “This is how it is. This is who they are. This is why I’ll never change.” And while it might feel like it’s keeping you safe, what it really does is trap you in the same exhausting loop, with no space for connection, no space for growth, and no space for things to change.
So that’s the bad news. The good news is that there’s another way to approach situations, and anyone can learn to access it. So let’s talk about curiosity, which is the basis of every moment I spend with clients.
Curiosity feels different. Where judgment slams a door, curiosity leaves it cracked open. It asks, “What else might be true here? What haven’t I noticed yet? What if there’s another way to see this? What if it’s not really about me?”
And that shift is so powerful! With curiosity, something in us begins to soften. We breathe a little easier, we notice more, we listen differently, and slowly, our wiring and perspectives begin to change. And when wiring and perspectives change, you begin to live life differently and these tiny shifts ripple outward into new actions and new results. This is how we finally step out of the loops that keep us stuck.
It helps to remember:
Judgment is rooted in fear. Curiosity is rooted in openness.
Judgment resists. Curiosity allows.
Judgment keeps us circling. Curiosity shows us the way forward.
Being human will always ask something of you, and I won’t say that being curious is always easy, but staying stuck in judgment takes its own kind of toll. The question is whether you let it keep you spinning, or whether you take it as an invitation to evolve into something new.
