Navigating when one person always takes over

Have you ever been in one of those groups where one person just dominates the room? You're trying to sip your coffee and connect, but the conversation keeps circling back to their story, again and again.

My clients know I'm always just an email or text away for whatever comes up in their days. Big, small, or somewhere in between. Sometimes it's about relationships or big life shifts, and sometimes it's about how to handle the trickier, everyday dynamics, like this one.

A client of mine recently found herself in this exact spot. She went out of her comfort zone and started a women's social group in her neighborhood to build connection and community (yay!), but one of the women was making it exhausting. Every time they met, this woman took over the conversation and nobody else could get a word in.

She felt stuck and was dreading the next meetup, so she reached out to me for some help.

In coaching, my clients and I often look at what's happening from more than one angle. Not just from their perspective, but from the perspective of the other people involved too. That shift alone gives them something to work with instead of feeling powerless.

When one person consistently dominates a conversation, it usually says something about what's going on for them: unmet needs, discomfort with silence, or a lack of awareness around how much space they're taking. Understanding that doesn't mean you have to keep accepting it. It just means you can lead with curiosity instead of frustration, and that changes how things play out.

As the one who started the group, my client realized she was also, by default, the facilitator. Which meant she could create some gentle boundaries and shifts to bring more balance to the group, without making anyone feel small.

Here's a few things I shared with her:

Add a little structure.
Try breaking into smaller groups or pairs, or use conversation prompts so everyone gets airtime. As I've found in running my retreats, people can be more comfortable connecting in smaller settings.

Normalize everyone sharing up front.
Start the group by saying something like, "I'm so glad you're all here! I want to make sure everyone has space to connect today." That sets the tone before anyone takes the floor.

Redirect gently when needed.
A simple "That's so interesting, has anyone else felt that way?" can shift the energy in the room without singling anyone out.

Interrupt kindly if it keeps happening.
Try something like, "I would love to hear more about that, and I also want to make sure everyone gets a chance to share." Warm, clear, and it opens the door for others without making anyone feel called out.

Plan ahead.
Having a few conversation starters or rotating who kicks things off can keep the energy moving in a way that feels natural.

Leading the conversation isn't about needing to manage everyone. (I mean, who really wants to do that for fun!) It's about creating space for connection. Which is what you were after in the first place.

Want to read more about...
Why you keep ending up in the same situation? Read Breaking the Cycle
Treating yourself as well as you treat others? Read What If You Treated Yourself Like Someone You Love
Creating space for the people around you? Read Let Your Partner Be Capable

Want help navigating your own challenges?
Grab a bit of time with Jen to explore coaching